Expressing Thoughts

I was surprised with myself that I actually committed to creating this site and posting my thoughts here. It is not that I have trouble with commitments, I am very good at making and keeping commitments. It was surprising because expressing my thoughts with words is usually very difficult for me to do.

Words are not my natural way of thinking. My thoughts are completely based in and made up of emotions, feelings and mental images. When I am just sitting around thinking to myself, there are no words going through my head (except sometimes names of the people I am thinking of). When I communicate with others like me that are not currently living a human life, this is what we share. We communicate entirely with emotions, feelings and mental images.

So, let me just explain what each of words mean to me in terms of communication since everyone reading this probably has their own idea. This is part of the problem I have with words is that they require a great deal of interpretation because the provide a very incomplete picture of a person’s thoughts.

Emotion is pretty straightforward I think. It is an expression of the current internal state of one’s being. It communicates whether the person is happy, sad, fearful, lustful, etc. Emotion can also be attached to images, expressing the emotions that those images invoke for that person.

Feeling is the way a person subjectively perceives something – the way it “feels”. Basically, take all of your known senses (physical, spiritual, all of them), combine them together, and apply them to a mental image. That is how it feels to you.

Mental Images are the substance of the communication. They are the who, what, when, where and how. They are the message being conveyed that everything else is based around when communicating.

That is how I think and how I communicate most naturally. Now, here I am living as a human and trying to communicate with other humans who simply cannot hear me. It is not that they are not capable, rather that they have for some reason blocked themselves off and walled themselves in. They hide behind words, afraid to let others see who they really are and what they really think. Even in their own minds they use these words, as if hiding from their own true selves.

For me, communicating this way is not natural. I have spent a great many years (my entire human life) learning to communicate this way. Yet still I struggle with it every day. I can spend hours writing to try to explain a single image in my head and still never come close to fully describing it. When I write, I have to constantly stop and think (using words!) to figure out the next thing to write. When I try to communicate in real time with someone using words, I either end up communicating very slowly or spilling out an endless stream of words to try to communicate a simple thought, and usually failing at it.

Because communicating with words requires such an intense mental focus for me, I find myself often unable to get emotionally involved with the topic of conversation. If I do become emotionally involved then I end up either blabbering complete nonsense or simply going quiet because my mind switches back to its normal mode of thinking.

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